Thursday, March 26, 2009

Joys of the MotherHood

For the first time today, I hear nothing. Complete silence. It is FABULOUS! The kids are all down for a nap and there are so many things that I want to do with my down time that I have had a difficult time deciding which to do. I settled on watching some Food Network and working on the blog. Although I do have an excellent book ("The Toss of a Lemon" by a woman that lives in Fayetteville) that I am dying to see what happens next in. I have gotten in the habit of taking Olivia and Makayla to the library while Abi is at gymnastics and I have found some good reads.

Our day has been busy. The girls had their 6 month dental check up yesterday and Makayla has several weak spots on her teeth. She was prescribed fluoride to use every night. Olivia's teeth look great. Abigail had a pretty bad decaying spot on one of her molar teeth. The dentist was shocked about it though because last time she was there the tooth was perfect and now it was almost rotted down to the nerve. he had to hollow it out and put a permanent cap on it. He said she will have to keep that on there until she matures and then when she is about 17 or 18 she will need a permanent cap that is more realistic looking:white or clear. He said her tooth probably was like this because she had a high fever or was on antibiotics while the tooth hit a growth spurt. So we went back to the dentist today to have it capped. From there we went to Target to fill her prescription for pain, then to grab some lunch (at almost 2:00pm), then to get the girls hair trimmed, then to Kroger for some groceries.

Funny story about the dentist: He is a pediatric dentist so he refers to the children as "jellybean". Abi and KayKay thought this was hilarious when he called them that the first time they went to him (about a year and a half ago). Makayla looked at the dental hygienist and said "When is Mr. Jellybean comin' to see me?" It was great stuff!

I had several questions for the dentist regarding the girls' teeth. I have been concerned about their previous environment and what damage that could cause on their teeth. The dentist explained and showed us grooves in Olivia and Makayla's teeth that are caused from their biological mother using drugs while pregnant with them. They also were not feed properly and did not care for their teeth properly when they were young children. Their biological parents had really bad teeth (some of you have witnessed seeing that first hand). We are going to have to be extra careful with amount of sugar the girls have and be sticklers about brushing and flossing. They are at an extra risk of having major teeth issues. They have already had more dental work done than I have at 25.

Speaking of the girls previous lives: We rarely receive any contact from their biological family. I had a strong relationship with their grandmother, Anna,in the past, but, as the adoption neared becoming final, she began to allow the girls' biological parents to come in to her home again. At that point, I lost trust with her and no longer allowed her to see the children. They had been seeing her less and less over a period of time, so it wasn't that I took them away from her all of a sudden and the girls would have behavior issues after spending time with or talking to Anna on the phone. We had a message from Anna on our answering machine when we got back from our Memphis trip. It tears a little at my heart every time I hear from her. I feel bad that she is going through losing these precious babies because I know how she loves them. But I know that I have to stay strong and protect my children. They are thriving and doing so well and I don't want them to go back to being unsure of things. Anna asked that I send her pictures and let her know how the girls are. She is not asking much, but I always have this fear in the back of my mind that their old family will find out what school they go to, or where they are, and try to take them from us. I don't really want to send pictures because I don't want them to know what the girls look like as they grow up. I'm torn. Hearing from Anna always stirs up emotions for me.

On a lighter note:
Appalling story about the hair salon: Makayla was getting her hair trimmed and Abi,Olivia, and myself were waiting and watching when another lady that had just gotten her hair down proceeds to talk about breast implants. She tells everyone that she got implants the week before and was very proud of them. She then pulls her shirt up and shows them to everyone! Including my three young daughters! Abi's mouth almost hit the floor and she turned her head away from the woman quickly. It was appalling and hilarious to see Abi's reaction. The owner of the store apologized over and over to me for the woman doing that in front of the kids.


Anonymous said...

Guurl, you have had your hands full today!! Bless your heart! I like the title of the post too b/c that's about right. :)
The thing with Anna really tugged at my heart too. In the end though, I rule in favor of the children. I think my vote would be to send Anna a pic but keep the communication to an extemely bare minimum. I'm paraphrasing but, just like you said yourself, your duty is to your babies, not to any previous person. And what a great job you are doing as a mother too btw!! I'll pray for your situation. :)

Danya said...

Was catching up on blogs when I came across this post. I can't imagine what you are going through with the fear and uncertainty of the girls' past and if you are doing the right thing. Just trust your MOTHERLY instincts and know that God is directing you! He directed them to you so obviously He knows that you will make the right decision.

It breaks my heart about their teeth. People can be so awful sometimes. They probably had no clue the girls were even supposed to be brushing.

Way to be a strong mama! Hang in there :)